Dear Maurice,
1-29-2016
It’s interesting where your life can take you. Getting
diagnosed with diabetes has made me feel my mortality a little more acutely. My
career which is already a priority has become even more so. So I’ve done some
rearranging lately. Things will allow me to continue to write creatively, make
films, travel and do my passion projects all the while helping people like
myself. I can’t wait to spill it. As it
is a long held dream of mine to do this and I’m excited to be working with
these people.
Friendship and family. I have the best friends in
Missy and Pam. Truly I have their backs and they have mine. I know whatever
turbulence comes my way they are there for me in good times and bad. Each have
their own struggles and triumphs and they both have the courage to go after
their dreams.
That speaks to what I love about them each. Even when
the chips are down they have a way of comforting me when my mood threatens to
disrupt everything I do.
So I’ve been looking at my life and deciding what to
do with it. How can I keep from disintegrating as I very nearly did when the
feature film fell through so close to production start date?
I’m such a control freak comes to those areas of my
life. Creatively speaking there are those I trust more than others. Missy is the
number one gatekeeper. To get to me you have to go through her. I don’t simply
do what she says, but I value her opinion and more than that I trust her. Trust
is hard to come by in the creative world as people will support you a lot if
they see you fighting the good fight to overcome. But might attack you when you
rise passed them. Missy is there safeguard me. As I can make impulsive
decisions, not really thinking about the consequences. And if she thinks you’re
going to use me to you own ends she won’t stay silent on the matter.
Pam, god love her. She takes her coffee black. When I
told her I had diabetes I didn’t get the bullshit natural cures talk. She
shoots straight from the hip. People don’t think she cries but she’s actually a
very sensitive soul. All of us at 3 Bitches Press are. Even the honorary
members like Andrew and Robin.
So when I make a decision I tend to stick to my guns
about it.
Right now I’m at crossroads about my feature film.
Should I jettison or put it on hold and do a documentary with real seed money
behind it? And use that to bring in more money to do the feature film?
Right now I’m consumed with getting better. My routine
is strict. Tomorrow is my last twenty lap day. I up to thirty laps next week. I
still take the metformin. I still take my bipolar medication. I take my thyroid
medication. Right now I take my anti-inflammatories for my jaw.
When I feel sick I know it’s my sugars. I’m not happy
about that. But I’m doing something about it. I’m being proactive. I’ve been
writing today. Being productive. Non-fiction I’ve found I have a certain flair
for. It’s something I excited about. Marketing is something else I have a knack
for. I’ve always been able to sell stories in order to get my foot in the door.
As of now I am at 287 lbs. That’s fourteen pounds I’ve
lost. My blood sugar has gotten as low as 132.
This morning it was 147. I’m not happy about that. Want to have a better
glucose average than two hundred and an A1C below at least a 7. Maybe I won’t
feel my mortality so much then.
Sincerely,
Amy McCorkle
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